le pensée de Craig

Tue, 27 Dec 2005 17:07:59 GMT

Merry X-mas from Craiggy the Christmas Frog

But no, right now I'm in a pinstripe dress and a fedora. And I got my tommy gun and whatnot. And a little tie and red lipstick. I look pretty hot..

My brothers wife compares me to other people too much. She hates my hair and my clothes and my makeup. Please allow me to rant for just a moment:

1. My hair - Bitch, STFU. Your idea of nice hair is the most hideous thing EVER. This is not 1985, alright? I am not 5 years old, either. Shut up about my hair. Do you know what it takes for me to make my hair look at least SEMI-decent in the morning? No, you don't. Shut up. I wake up every morning with my hair all over the damn place. It's one big, huge, poofy, bushy mess. I've mastered the art of taming that THING on my head in less than 20 minutes each day. I don't have the time to do a fucking updo every morning. Leave me be.
2. My clothes - I am not a frilly little girly girl. I would have thought that was obvious. whatever shut up.
3. My makeup - I'm proud of my makeup. I don't care that you don't like my multicolored liners and shadows. I don't care that you don't like the fact that I choose to wear clear lip gloss most days. Please forgive me for not wanting to look like some fucked up sideshow freak with the brown lipstick that you always wear. Brown lipstick? That's gross. Honestly. And I don't do "neutrals", hoebag. They don't do anything for me. And they're incredibly boring.

Worry about your own looks, slut. Not about mine.
[/rant]

lots & lots

Sun, 04 Dec 2005 18:15:32 GMT

So lots and lots has been happening lately, and due to stupid work blocking lj, I havent had a chance to inform you all.

This past weekend was insane.

Seriously.

Thursday, Friday and Saturday night. So messed up.

Pretty sure I dont remember most of saturday night simply because i was still recovering from thursday and friday.

Met a 30yr old. Sugar Daddy.

He has lots of money and said he'd buy me nice things, however now he's become a tad too obsessed.

So patrice and I are planning on finding away to ditch him tonight for good.

I have a friend, and I really miss her. Her name is Zoé and she's so cool. and we always e-mail eachother like everyday, writing stories, writing poems, telling jokes, reciting our day, telling our problems and helping eachother. It doesn't make sense how, how much a like we are. Everyday we go through the same thing and I find it amazingly crazy.
School has been really good lately. It's really easy. Oh well.. I have a bunch of really good teachers, and this school system is unbelievable. It really is a dream come true, and I am ever so happy that I can walk down the hallways and not be scared, I can sing, and tell my feelings.. I'm just ever so grateful. I wish everyone can feel this feeling.
I want to start helping the world more. I adopted a child from africa, and and sometime I was thinking i might want to go visit... while I'm there I can visit Morgun. He was my old boyfriend. I loved him. I love him. I never talk to him anymore. I really wish I did. We were really close. There was a connection there, I promise. oh.. oh Morgues...
♥♥♥
So, here I am, in Windsor, I've been living here for awhile now. my brothers wife is annoying the hell out of me. I desperately can't stand her. So, I was thinking of leaving. I could move in with some friends, but that would get out of hand. I could move in with my parents. but that would require Thunder Bay.. and and my heart would break one thousand times. That town is so... negative, and stuck up. I don't know. Maybe I'll just find myself.. Or I can just stick it out with her. Who knows. Wheeee.

I miss a lot right now.

Mon, 28 Nov 2005 01:55:06 GMT

I cant begin to describe how rock star I was on the weekend.

hahahaha.

I called in sick to work on saturday AND sunday.

I'm almost certain I'm going to get fired now.

FRIDAY NIGHT:

I decided to go to the depot last minute. So much for me boycotting that place for a week or so. haha. Got mega drunk on scotch and coke. Strutted around. I got some 30 something year old guy to buy me a drink hahaha. He also gave me some nasty ass cigarette that almost burnt a hole in my throat. Umm.. I hung out with shane and kane a bit. haha Huge ass hardcore boys, that make me look even more anno. At the end of the night I stumbled towards home with kate and patrice. fun fun fun.

SATURDAY NIGHT:

Omg. hahaha where to begin...Went to the Family. Got majorly fucked up. I was so out my element there it was funny. I wore my sunglasses and tight purple jeans. hahahaha. People either loved it or thought i was retarded. Um. Meet some awesome new people. Hung out with the Gold Coast boy we meet a couple of weeks ago that we nick named Linkin Abs, cause he has the nicest set of abs ever. hahaha.

Anyway. If I dont get fired, I shall be out again next weekend. love love

I listen to Madonna when I cry. cries like a virgin

Wed, 16 Nov 2005 01:59:57 GMT

OH MY GOD

@ saturday night seriously.

HAHAHAHAHA

I was drunk drunk drunk again.

Cruising around with my sunnies on. hahahaha.

Hugging random strangers.

I even started kissing some girls arm that I thought was my friend. HAHAHAH

It wasnt :/

Today she added me to myspace.

HAHAHAHAHA. funny.

James picked me up and carried me around. HAHAH

Mikey kept hugging me and stealing my sunglasses. bitch. haha.

Casey was just amazing. haha.

LUCY! hahaha we both screamed and like jumped on each other.

I r&b danced by myself hahahaha.

oh lord.

Fri, 11 Nov 2005 02:04:17 GMT

HATED last night.

HATE my life right now.

PRETTY SURE I want to leave the country and just start a whole new life.

SO over Brisbane

****on the other hand***

Everything is starting to shape up nicely.

All the puzzle pieces have found their places.

I'm content with my life right now.

Fucking hate the wind.

Ruins my hair.

hahahaha.

This week has gone rather quickly, which is nice.

I realise there will probably be a time where speedy week days will seem evil.

For now, I live for the weekend.

Booze and Boys on Saturday.

Joy Joy Joy.

Mon, 31 Oct 2005 07:22:50 GMT

the weekend was wack.

haha wack.

apart from being completely fucked off my face,

i met a boy.

pretty sure he is pretty.

pretty sure he is bf material.

pretty sure he may already be the bf.

hahaha.

cute.

i'll upload some pics when i head home tomorrow.

love love

Thu, 27 Oct 2005 03:21:46 GMT

So I once again had a big weekend out.

Got insanely drunk.

Most likely embaressed myself countless times.

Made some new friends.

Got hit on by some boy I swore was straight.

He was kinda cute.

Hung out with this guy I've always hated because he's a beautiful woman eater.

Breaks little girls hearts and all that.

I made fun of his afi tattoo. so he tried to tackle me. haha.

Ummmm... I danced on a podium. hahaha.

My ex bf saw me and was coming over to say hi, when the cute boy came up and kissed my stomach. hahaha.

Ex bf then diverted to the bar.

Anyway. love love love

PS: my nipples hurt >:O

Sun, 09 Oct 2005 14:06:37 GMT

well study hall i snuck in with mr.whitmire into the storage room and grabed a set of a band uniform for tonight! yesssss

we rule. dont tell, shhhhhh

after i cut my hair, its very noticeable

i really feel like making a movie again, good times.

*cough cough*

you think your so cool, as the raven tells you never more

Wed, 28 Sep 2005 23:55:44 GMT

Dear hot guy who winked at me and smiled at me on the street today:
Thank you
You made my day
Love,
Craig

So i got to spend my evening with the hott awesome hott jamie!! It was so much fun, we had dinner and sat and talked for a while and then walked and then talked and i love talking to jamie cause we can vent to each other and just talk, we get along like that and it is fantastic!! I cant wait to go to avalon with him on saterday if it all works out!

I really need to get a planner, like really bad, i am totally out of it with my schedule and i am falling apart because of it like i never know if i can plan something or not so i get confuzzled

o well soon enough,

Its been a good day all in all,
no freeze dried bullshit....

Anyways,
Tired, sick of my dad who is being really awful and i dont know why. he's just really upset that i'm pregnant like omgzzz whyyy!?
It happens to everyone sooner or later
My mom is being pretty cool so thats awesome>

SCHOOL RULES CULES BOO!

I totally need to get to bed earlier....sleepy all day in school, dreaming of muffins, boys, and lipgloss
We are learning about Africa in class and its pretty depressing but on the bright side, home of morgun....

SHAKESPEARE IN ENGLISH!!! I AM SO EXCITED!!!
Othello, pretty awesome, one of the tragedies i havent read so im pretty ducky about it....

Icecream and teenage soaps for me...
fucking out....
KTHXBYE
lovelovelove
<3
eeeeeeee Being As Fab As Me is PHAT!

Wed, 14 Sep 2005 22:16:36 GMT

eep.
suck my cock.

please.

Sat, 27 Aug 2005 05:03:22 GMT

ry-ry is going to be here any minute and we are gonna chill, yo. hes so sweet. and cute. and sexy. for sure. yesterday was his birthday and he stayed the night. we had a good night.

work today was kind of on the slow side. kevin managed to not bitch at me for anything, either. thats a shocker. tomorrow i have to work from 11:30-7:30. its cool though because when i get home, i get the house all to myself. my brother and his wife went to somewhere or whatever. theyre old. but im not. hahaahahaaaaa..

so i'm back to onle belly button, ears and tongue as piercings, the other 5 weren't working... kept getting caught in love making. yeah... as if.
I need a new boyfriend.

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 04:29:04 GMT

Woke up with the worst headache EVER.
Fell asleep in the shower. OOPS
Work.
Closed early.
Bowling tonight. with Brother ,Randy , Rob, Josh
and Frank.
Bath(who cares about my belly button)
Shave
Facial
Wash face
Moitureize
put pj's on.
Go through my room like always
Wish that i had my camera. but left it at Rob's
::giggles::
Listen to music.
Talk to Rob.

Goodnight. Maybe i'll be on later

ta ta

Mon, 08 Aug 2005 00:49:11 GMT

i got my monroe pierced yesterday.
new ae pants. 0. not stretch. wicked tight.
new hoodie. 4. h&m. i needed help getting it on. haha.
new wednesday 13 shirt. wicked metal.

btw. YOU yes you. you can keep the clothes i gave you, but my white studded belt i want it back. and soon.

on a lighter note. i am XgodX.

Eeeeeeeee

Wed, 27 Jul 2005 16:02:17 GMT

Well it's decided. I will never again be living at jeffs, i'm done with thunder bay. I'm moving out! Moving on! I'm gone!! eeeeehehhehe!!! yayahhh!!

But I'm also really sad.
I am going to miss all the kids here, and all the drunken nights. and all the times we just go get piercings and I am going to miss the sleeping giant. I never did get to sleep with him. the big slutface. heehehe

I'm so sad I didn't get to see Kristyn. It's a damn shame. A Damn shame. I ♥♥♥♥♥heart Kristyn.
Good kid she is. For Dizzle.
ohmygosh, (no offence to you kristyn) but I'm thinking of the GIRL I never met.. I'm crazy... don't worry I'll miss you all and i'll write you all beautiful letters SMOTHERED in perfume! because I can.

My dad is bringing all my belongings on the August 5th weekend.

My new highschool has like a gay rites class...
i think I'm going to take it.
I already know like, everyone, that goes to my school. Despite the sadness of leaving thunder bay, I'm actually excited to go to school. I like this feeling. I don't have to worry about being bullied. I don't have to worry about what people call me or what they do to me. I feel safe. It's a good feeling.. X_x
I think I've grown a lot during my time here.
Morgun would be proud. I really miss him...

Fri, 08 Jul 2005 21:28:49 GMT

Ooohhoooo

Coming home in 33 days. lol

We are going to Toronto tomorrow, for a few raves and stuff. I've been taking way too much drugs and it's just going to get worse. Craig sucks at having self control. Eeek. Though the boys around here are gorgeous..

eeeeeeeee

Thu, 07 Jul 2005 20:58:58 GMT

Oh hell, I am having an absolutely Fabulous time here in windsor. Reuniting with the boys s amazing.
I loved when they came and visited me. Now I am visiting them and I +heart+ it. A lot.

Tue, 05 Jul 2005 12:13:58 GMT

I am in Windsor, with no computer acess but this, at the library.

I love you all..
Kisses.

Craig

this so isn't even worth it.

Wed, 29 Jun 2005 15:33:12 GMT

I hate how friends sneak behind eachothers back. Like, fuck, just be honest. Even if you are bound to hurt the other person, be honest.

(read: we = Craig, Jeff, Mark, Jeffky, Scott, Willow, Zoé, Cassy)

Tue, 28 Jun 2005 13:09:46 GMT

so there we all were, just relaxing, enjoying, well... errr... life!
cassy and scott are brother and sister, and they live in texas, they used to live here, and they are friends with a bunch of people that I know and stuff, and yeah.. they are suuuuppper funny amnd cassy is soooo pretty and her hair is soooooo long! OMG it's like... down to her ass! like.. longer then that, but it's like, really fucking nice, and fucking.. omg.. it's amazing, and Scott... well he is rather attractive...
so yeah glad I met those two new people.... and okay, yeah and it was nice to see Jeff again... but it reminded me of Morgun, because they were like... really good friends... still are most likely.   I miss Morgun, I miss him a lot. anyways, right...
I had noticed that Willow, who is dating Jeffky, was uhm.... becoming rather attracted to Mark. She was alllll over him. Zoe looked.. upset, Mark looked... uncomfortable. Jeffky, was... confused and hurt, and I welll.. I was fucking pissed.     So Mark decided he'd get up and go get us some more food, when suddenly Willow (*surprisingly*) gets up to go with Mark...        It was a bit akward and we all just were sort of amazed at what she was doing, I mean... Jeffky is amazing and they are like so in love.. or so EVERYONE IN THE WORLD thought. So yeah, then things got back to normal and we were joking, and laughing and having a grand old time. Mark and Willow were still nowhere to be seen, I don't think anyone but me noticed. When Jeffky went to Zoé and said " You can so do better then him , you can have me " she just kind of laughed, and said, "yeah, then you and willow can brake up, mark and I can break up, me and you can go out, then craig and willow will have to fight over mark... mark is leaving this weekend, craig and willow will be crushed, and suddenly find that the only way they can be comforted is with eachother, and that will cause craig to cancel being gay and then. the world would end. that's not a good idea jeff."      it was really really funny. and then... jeffky was all, well if that suits you. and he grabbed her and started spinning her around his head.. then mark and willow came back in, and mark was all, "zoe. get down from there", and she was all just laughing, and then willow like started screaming at jeffky, because well he was having soooo much fun. and then Cassy, Scott, Jeff and me.... like...   started trying to get zoe down, because it was rather dangerous. and then jeffky, just ran into his room with zoe in his arms, and we just saw the lights go off, and willow was ohhhh freaking out. and mark was just mad, and then jeff and scott decided to run to the car, to get some beer, because they were like.." kay, screw the non-alcoholic evening... " so then they had allll this beer, and then of course me and jeffky had some in our apartment, and so Willow, Me, Scott, Cassy. Mark and Jeff started drinking. Cassy got all fucking pissed at Mark because he was drinking and he was just like, he put his drink down, and said that yeah it was stupid of him to drink, then from the other room. Zoe burst into laughter and he was just like.. "what the fuck I don't care.." and took a shot of whiskey... it was akward, but then it was all fun... yeah and then like...   we just talked and laughed, and took some really funny pictures and some really fun ones, and we got a lot of footage hehehehhe even some of mark and I kissing, hehehhehehe !!!
omg. it was amazing. I have never been happier. like woah. and omg.   not to brag or anything. but I have kissed a lot of people. not just because I was drunk and not just because I have an uber crush on him.. because this is fact. He is by far, the best kisser I have ever fucking experienced. It was amazing. wow.           but then.. we went into my room.. and such.. and I honestly.. was so happy to just sit with him, and so was he, and we were just sitting there, and i had my arms around his waist, and we were on my bed just talking, allll night, and we got some things cleared up, and I don't have a crush on him anymore!!!!! He is really really really rad and I am soooo HAPPY I met him!! then I fell asleep. and so did mark.. i woke up, and it was all like.. i had the wierdest feeling, and then like... i went back to the living room and jeff, cassy, willow and scott were all sleeping too, so I went the jeffkys door, and it was locked, but I just took a bobby-pin and opened it up. expecting to be disappointed and find two relationships broken, i held my breath, looked in...
They were gone.
I laughed, which woke the folk in the livingroom up.. and noone said that they heard/saw them leave. it's been a couple hours, and no word has been heard.   Jeffky doesn't have his cell on, and Zoe isn't home.. lol

We shall figure out soon where they are. I hope.
So now, me , mark, jeff, willow, scott and cassy, are sitting here, having a good time, laughing it up, mark and scott are making pancakes, and french toast for that matter. OOH it is going to be amazing.
This was amazing as a whole though.
and omg, I get to colour Cassys hair! woot woot! omg. watch me fucking ruin it. lol well it's just being bleached and then more white dye, so it's not all that hard... yeah! hehehehhe

I'm In Love

Sat, 25 Jun 2005 18:03:03 GMT

Sorry, I haven't been posting for a while... Because.. I am in love ♥♥♥
I just, feel so completely understood and loved by this guy.

He is amazing.
You are amazing.

I love you Mark.

Can't you all just see his beauty. I am really sorry to anyone I am hurting because of this post, but I just have to let it out.
Please, please please, forgive me. This is selfish, but it's about time...

Our relationship isn't doing very well but, it will get better with time.

He just needs to let go. and be free....

It'll come with time.

We are meant to be together. ♥♥♥

I love him.

Wed, 22 Jun 2005 21:52:18 GMT

I am aware that those pictures didn't work. I will post them later...

Wed, 22 Jun 2005 21:49:52 GMT

Today is wednesday. Craig, weren't you planning on going to your parents' house again on Wednesday?
Oooh Baby! Was I EVERRRrrRRR(grrrr)...
When My Baby Heard, Bapapapapapapahahapapapaha

I am soooo going to have a good summer. Mommy gave me all the new clothes that she bought me. Holy Phuck... She went to Vegas, that I didn't know about. She even bought me a few thongs... 0_0
It was crazy. I seriously have tooooo much clothes now..

That is my fave one.

Tue, 21 Jun 2005 22:34:29 GMT

Oh How I Hope My Singing Pleases You

Tue, 21 Jun 2005 22:16:32 GMT

Well, I figure I had a good talk with mommy and daddy. Nothing got cleared up or anything, BUT. they told me they would pay for an appartment for me. That means, I can either get a fucking place of my own, or stay with Jeff...
Depending on what Jeff wants. I would rather stay with him... If he wants me out though, I'm out. We'll see. Ima try to take a break of the narcotics. They may very well be playing with my brain a bit too much.

"The Trees Get Wheeled Away"

increments spike their blood
where a mass of mud
cucumbers cut to fit their eyes
and so no one would know how tired they've grown
of talking and telling their lies

while your tvs change stations
scroll messages
victims and christians both drinking blood
and they pray for the destruction of all hatred
more often just those with hate for us

cause it hurts when you discover one's worse and one's better
to suffer or cause others to
and you can live by your conscience
now guilt is a concept
you're no longer subscribing to

there's a virgin in my bed
and she's taking off her dress
and i'm not sure what i am gonna do
there's a song stuck in my head
and i can't help singing it
oh how i hope my singing pleases you
cause i am not who i become
but what you made me into

oh we got no health insurance
no cellular service
no disease they can cure
but we need more money to burn
so each person must learn the dollar amount they are worth

and your pills make me dizzy
forgetting my body
i watch as it walks away
and i just keep drinking the poison
and smoking the cartons
a pack and a half a day

so when time comes to claim me
my friends and my family will gather around my grave
and they'll believe that they knew me and love me and miss me
and all call me by my name

so imagine what you want
and then hold on to that thought
cause that's as close as it will ever come
and believe you're where you are and keep acting out the part
but at the end of the end of the day the trees all get wheeled away
and you'll be standing alone in a blank blank space

so believe you're who you are
and stay in character
but at the end of the play the audience walks away
and you'll be a shivering cold on a well lit stage

Mon, 20 Jun 2005 02:23:36 GMT

This was before...

and now the fucking horrors.. that are all my fault I am sorry sorrrrrrry